For years I have been fighting, when will I have rest?
If you asked me who I was, I would have replied, “a lost cause of infinite jest.”
How can one place memories, with evil seeds planted in the heart?
I’ve ran so far east from him that the world tore me apart.
Oh cruel world, I had no protection, from it’s afflictions my soul was broken.
Negative thoughts evil whispered to me ‘you’re not good enough, you’ll never amount to anything.’
What was I to do? I was so afraid. I told myself that all I had to do was be brave.
I could slay these demons by myself, or at least that’s what I thought.
‘You can do anything you put your mind to! The whole world is yours for the taking,’ so I fought.
Everyone recited this over and over, but still darkness wounded me in the night.
You see depression is a spiritual emptiness, and most of us are in need of insight.
Searching for peace and joy in our lives, but never reaching the pinnacle of these expectations.
I was saved, I thought, wasn’t I a good being?
Why was the Lord doing this to me, hardening me inside?
I came to the conclusion that perhaps I have already died.
But death is not truth, and truth is not death.
Out of sheer desperation I finally succumbed to the end of myself.
“I’m sorry God,” I whispered, “I give up, I give up everything to you.”
And then he whispered to me, “whoever finds their life will lose it,
and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”
It was then he began to heal me.
Sometimes we must stop and cease to remember, that all of us are in need of a savior.
The Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace,
He is the truth, the way, and the life, the one who has set me free.