My Testimony

I’ll place my hope in you, for you know what is best for me before I do. You see me as I am, my redeeming qualities and my faults. Clearly, I am imperfect yet you love me despite. 

We are not meant to be turned away, believing we are doomed. There is only one thing that is true in this world and it is the love of Christ. Love prevails through fights, heartbreak, sickness, betrayal, and even death. Stop and take heed of my words: Love conquers all of that. It is the truth and everything loses in comparison. What proof do I have of this? I, once shadowed by depression found no solace in what was promised to bring happiness. I fooled with men, cursed those who hurt me, and sought my own justice to make right only to discover the pleasure morph into self disgust. “You just can’t keep up with this fast life. You’re weak and you will always be weak,” you might say. When will you see that you are weak too? You consume the false pretense that you have to prove something to yourself to be satisfied. How awful! You cannot live your life believing you are your own. We are sinful creatures that cannot be relied on for peace. Can you see the truth about yourself? Believe and you will see. We are imperfect and this is only made right by the only real perfect love there is. I was never mine and following the truth instead of my own beliefs has healed me. It is not too late for you.

Finding Love

How do I love in this world? How can I manage to love unconditionally in a place that is not heaven? I suppose the only way I can answer that is that it was never about me. There is nothing I can do to prove my worthiness to God. I became Christian because I no longer wanted to live for myself. I was tired of fighting of nothing. There was something greater than me that had to be worth it and he found me. He was the love that knew how to love me fully. You love unconditionally because he loves you that way. You are the shining example of love that reflects others back to him. It was never about ourselves; it was all about him. Love is forever, the only thing that stands the test of time. Have faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love.

Appearances

Stop putting so much emphasis on looks,

it isn’t all that.

What’s going on in your head?

I bet you know something.

Look past the designer shades, plastered makeup face,

salon manicured nails, towering heels,

logo inscribed handbag, extra polished clothing.

Appearance isn’t a skill.

If you insist on the importance of appearance,

perhaps your heart is in design?

Everyone’s good for something,

don’t let them convince you otherwise.

There are lots of wonderful things to do,

don’t waste your time on insignificant things.

You’re more than stuff,

You’re a human being.

The media is noise, something hard to ignore,

But truth will always be golden.

You’ve got a God-given talent that can change the world,

unique to you, yourself, and you.

Perhaps you’re socially gifted, a flexible dancer,

a detailed mechanic, a number cruncher,

a knowledgable fact checker, a strategic gamer,

a convincing salesperson, a great photographer,

a musically inclined individual, an imaginative storyteller,

a strong weightlifter, or the most efficient homemaker.

Everybody’s got something and if you don’t,

you just haven’t found it yet.

Forget the “look,” but take good care of yourself.

If you have dry hair, put oil,

if you sweat often, change your shirts more often.

Be who you want to be, but be a good person too.

A smile helps in many ways,

It brightens up yourself and the room you’re in.

Bring out your best features,

Don’t fool yourself with what you don’t have.

There are too many things in the world to distract you.

Society will give you fast food, reality TV,

drugs, shopping malls, fast cars,

but these prevent you from changing the world.

Guard your heart, for whatever you do flows from it,

Know that only the mediocre choose to conceal with appearances.

It is hard being a girl,

to be constantly judged and attacked for what you look like,

but hold tight to your identity in Christ,

he knows you better than anyone.

Stick to your guns,

be humble, be strong,

Your value is immeasurable in the eyes of Him.

 

Be in the Present

The arrows that pierce

through your heart

reek the blessings that promise

enormous joy and peace

How distracting is the past and future

tricking us into casting

our hope right before

good things flourish

Struggle is real

pain is evident but time

does not catch its breath because

of your cries

Hand of time flows continuously

we must catch the favors

when they come at us

for the givers are never

left unrewarded

Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Yeah, I get it.  We all get angry at the world.

Want to throw bombs to express it,

yell and scream to make it known.

There’s a lot that goes on that’s just not fair.

I’m not saying what you feel isn’t real because it probably is.

Pain seeping through you,

head dizzy with explosives.

I’m just saying that doing nothing productive doesn’t help you fix it.

I know you want me to feel sorry for you,

and I probably do,

but if you’re doing nothing about it,

taking your anger out on others,

can you blame others for turning against you?

Fill your time with some activity,

give yourself something to hope for.

Hang out with friends, bake a cake, write a letter, see a sunset,

turn up the music, do cross fit, join a club, clean your house.

Whatever it is, just do something good.

Fight the good fight because this is the life you’re given.

I’m not saying you can save yourself,

only Jesus can save you fully.

You turn to him when your life is in shambles.

I’m just saying it can’t hurt to create your own happiness,

even if it’s small.

Don’t expect people to know what to say,

that’s a rare trait to find.

Honestly, hardly anyone’s going to know exactly what to tell you.

Who really knows about your situation,

every event, every moment that led you to this low place you’re at now?

People claim to know you all the time,

but don’t trust it.

You yourself do what you can.

Do your best, do what’s right.

You’ve got your own free will to make some difference.

And the stuff that you can’t change,

no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try?

You bring it to Him.

He’s the only one who will fully get you,

he’s the only one that can make the impossible happen.

So you might as well try to do something good,

Can’t hurt to put your faith in cards that always win.

Enough

I am not very bright,

I do not synthesize facts very well.

I know how to say things with emotion,

things that are poetic.

What use is that for you?

I am no leader, no entrepreneur,

I am not the first to volunteer,

I am not one with mass strength,

or great agility to defend myself against an attack.

But I am someone who can say things about you,

How you are a wonderful God.

One who I can honor with what I have.

I have a voice and a string of words to offer you,

and you say that’s more than enough for the king.

You love the expressions which causes other people to

smile, weep, rejoice, and change.

We are each enough for our savior,

used in ways greater than we imagine.

All it takes is faith in him.

Arms Wide Open

You keep me safe in your arms,

Holding me close because you love me.

You let go only when I insist,

Knowing that is the best way for a child to learn.

 

I feel your presence in the wind,

In the fur of a puppy,

In the sound of the ocean waves,

In the sensitive whispers of husband and wife.

 

I feel your presence in my thoughts,

In the harboring resentment,

In the afternoon traffic,

In the late night talks about life.

 

You have always been there,

Molding me into superior shape,

In joy and pain,

Because of your love for us.