Confidence

Light spills through jalousies,

warming floorboards with one sweeping wave,

dresser, vanity, tea set, finally bed,

touching her cheeks flushed from first heat.

She tousles brown locks over her face,

huffs, “See me tomorrow!”

tucks her head into the peach blanket ruffles,

breathing in the detergent of the fresh fabric.

Brazen is the sun, determined,

which sweeps through cotton sheets,

prodding her to see the day,

birds singing in the windowpane.

She flounces her blankets off,

betrayed by heat of summer morning,

sprawls her arms to cast out tensions,

sleep energy transferring out her body.

 

The door creaks revealing an angel-haired maiden,

sweet as lilies that float away in the creek,

she whispers, “It’s time,”

then tends to the eggs and cinnamon bread.

Thus, she scurries to the closet for a fresh pick,

observing fabrics, cuts, and colors choicely,

an array of careful consideration,

while changing out of her pajamas.

She turns toward the vanity,

pinches the soft of her belly fat,

winces, eyebrows furrowed,

grimacing toward the reflection.

She focuses back to the array of patterns,

pulls a plain navy suit with gold finishings,

holds both pieces to her frame,

fidgets, poses, unsure.

 

She tips on her toes,

tilts her head to the side,

puffs out her chest for expression,

then reverts.

She studies the smooth and rough surfaces of her face,

tousles her hair in careful, cascading waves,

puckers her lips for rouge,

closes the clasps of her peep toed pumps.

She makes her way out,

pauses, hand on the door,

rushes back, once more,

searching for imperfections.

She flattens her face on the cool mirror,

leaving a nose imprint,

pulls back, revealing a dimpled smile,

then she whisks away without a second glance.

 

 

Look Up

What if focusing on what’s in front of you is actually unwise?

That looking for your answers from a textbook may not give you the right answer.

You may say, “I don’t believe in anything,

I just believe in myself,”

Or, “I believe in the man made laws given to us by the leaders of our country.”

I wonder if that would be your downfall.

Perhaps wisdom is, after all, found in one who knows all things.

After all, humans by nature are flighty, constantly making mistakes.

True wisdom exists,

Just look up and believe.

Mother

You wanted to party and have fun,

To play, dance, sing kareoke.

When I was a child I hardly saw you in the mornings,

You slept in from your long night’s work.

You were attracted to the trends on TV,

While I stuck to muted colors of black, grey, blue, and white.

Your social media was filled with notifications,

While mine had an occasional buzz.

You left the clothes for two weeks,

And complained when you finally had to clean the heavy load.

You bought candy from Longs,

Ate them on your bed at night while you watched the Filipino channel.

My grandma had to teach me how to be a woman,

“Your mom is hardly home and she does not teach you, so I will teach you,” my grandma said.

With her, I learned to wash dishes,

Sweep and mop the floor, cook basic foods,

Fold clothes, dust the house, wipe the counters, and more,

just about anything my mother should have taught me.

I wonder if my grandma had not been there,

that I would have been devoid of nurture completely?

While my mom partied with her friends,

All I wanted was for her to stay home and be my mother,

To care for her home and her family,

To make sure things were running smoothly,

To stroke my hair when I was hurt,

To wait on me when I was sick.

Why did my mother think she could do whatever she wanted?

I didn’t have to read a bible to know a woman’s place.
Now that she visits church with me,

she’s stopped trying to be the “cool mom,”

She bakes me pastries and sandwiches ,

She cleans without a frown on her face,

No longer nags but helps the home run smoothly,

She was deprived of God, 

But now that she learns she can finally help me.

All These Pretty Things

Fruity pebbles, flowers, bohemian dresses, calligraphy,

I still don’t know what this means.

How did we get this far, to make Jesus a product?

Rather than educating people,

We throw out bible verses

as if that’s the only thing useful.

Seems as if Christians look the same on social media,

Acting the same, dressing the same, content is the same.

Daily dose of inspiration, cool bible verses, pastel colors, cute outfits,

Am I the only one that thinks we lost the real meaning?

Jesus isn’t that simple,

It’s a relationship that we should seek.

It’s a relationship full of everything on the spectrum.

Happiness, anger, sorrow, shame,

He sees us for all that we are.

The word saves, but tell me what the word means.

Don’t hide behind pretty things,

Tell me something real.